This post was inspired by Jane Cunningham at British Beauty Blogger and her post on Badly Named Beauty products. These are my Top 10 worst product names that I've come across- enjoy! (Updated 2020)
1. Illamasqua Bacterium Nail Polish
Just what you want to paint on your nails- bacterium- sounds enchanting! To me this just brings to mind all those toenail infections, athletes foot, fungus etc...so very unattractive.
3. Kat Von D Selektron Liquid Lipstick
Selektron is an anti-semetic term used by the Nazis to refer to the selection process in prisoner concentration camps. Because of the rightful furfore the shade was renamed Beloved. Kat Von D's notority (anti-semintism, anti-vaxxer, dodgy rascist boyfriends) became too much for the brand owners which has now re-branded as 'Kindness Vegan Discovery Beauty' and Kat Von D has stepped down from the company.
4. Dr Lipp Original Nipple Balm for Lips
I guess this brand didn't want to forget it's roots as a humble balm used to soothe nipples of breast feeding women. From the name it also sounds ideal for runners complaining of nipple chaffing. But with a name like Dr Lipp surely that's all you need? The name is slightly confusing and would probably appeal to a wider audience and to more men if the word nipple was dropped?
5. Nail Polish in Erektis Klitoris
It sounds like an X rated Harry Potter Spell.
6. Maybelline Color Show Nail Polish in Watery Waste
Talk about running down your product, this is almost like an own goal from Maybelline. This name does not sound good. It makes you think the nail polish will be too runny and that the colour is nothing special and suggests it in fact be a waste of money.
7. Too Faced Granny Panties
Normally Too Faced gets called out for it's sexually explicit names but this one is at the other end of the scale- Granny Panties doesn't scream attractive or desirable. Then there's the scenerio when you get asked what lipstick you're wearing and you reply 'granny panties.'
8. Bleach Nail Polish called Jizz..and it's white. That is all.
9. Flesh Beauty Firm Flesh Thick Stick Foundation
This sounds like a something you'd hear on a phone sex line 'Firm Flesh Thick Stick Foundation'' Flesh Beauty also reminds me of those American Tan orange brown stockings making the name both sexy and unsexy at the same time what a feat!
10. Urban Decay Desperation Eyeshadow and eyeliner
I know Urban Decay is an 'edgy' brand that prides itself on being 'anti-barbie' but surely we don't want to actually aim for create the look of desperation, surely that's not a good look on anyone.
11. Urban Decay Lube in a Tube
Yes it rhymes and it's catchy but this just sounds gross and tacky. I know Lancome has ownership over Juicy Tubes but surely Urban Decay could have come up (no pun intended) with something a little more sophisticated and more appealing?
12. Nars Deep Throat Blusher
Orgasm sounds sexy but deep throat sounds like it would be more attractive to men than women and to me suggests gagging. Surely you don't want to associate your product with gagging?
1. Illamasqua Bacterium Nail Polish
Just what you want to paint on your nails- bacterium- sounds enchanting! To me this just brings to mind all those toenail infections, athletes foot, fungus etc...so very unattractive.
2. Simone Chickenbone Chicken Poop lip Junk 'crafted from ingredients you want to put on your skin.'
Firstly this product does not contain any chicken poop/ poo/ droppings, whatever you want to call it. None. At. All. So why call it Chicken Poop Lip Junk? Apparently the name was inspired by creator Jamie Labor's grandpa, whenever she complained of dry lips he'd tell her 'Put some chicken poop on your lips so you won't lick 'em!' Despite the fact that it wasn't easy to sell something called Chicken Poop the name stuck. Jamie's perseverance paid off as now over 700 stores across USA, Canada, Australia and the UK have it in stock. It's also not tested on animals and the only animal ingredient is beeswax.
Selektron is an anti-semetic term used by the Nazis to refer to the selection process in prisoner concentration camps. Because of the rightful furfore the shade was renamed Beloved. Kat Von D's notority (anti-semintism, anti-vaxxer, dodgy rascist boyfriends) became too much for the brand owners which has now re-branded as 'Kindness Vegan Discovery Beauty' and Kat Von D has stepped down from the company.
4. Dr Lipp Original Nipple Balm for Lips
I guess this brand didn't want to forget it's roots as a humble balm used to soothe nipples of breast feeding women. From the name it also sounds ideal for runners complaining of nipple chaffing. But with a name like Dr Lipp surely that's all you need? The name is slightly confusing and would probably appeal to a wider audience and to more men if the word nipple was dropped?
5. Nail Polish in Erektis Klitoris
It sounds like an X rated Harry Potter Spell.
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| Photo from Bridge Mistress Reddit |
6. Maybelline Color Show Nail Polish in Watery Waste
Talk about running down your product, this is almost like an own goal from Maybelline. This name does not sound good. It makes you think the nail polish will be too runny and that the colour is nothing special and suggests it in fact be a waste of money.
7. Too Faced Granny Panties
Normally Too Faced gets called out for it's sexually explicit names but this one is at the other end of the scale- Granny Panties doesn't scream attractive or desirable. Then there's the scenerio when you get asked what lipstick you're wearing and you reply 'granny panties.'
8. Bleach Nail Polish called Jizz..and it's white. That is all.
9. Flesh Beauty Firm Flesh Thick Stick Foundation
This sounds like a something you'd hear on a phone sex line 'Firm Flesh Thick Stick Foundation'' Flesh Beauty also reminds me of those American Tan orange brown stockings making the name both sexy and unsexy at the same time what a feat!
10. Urban Decay Desperation Eyeshadow and eyeliner
I know Urban Decay is an 'edgy' brand that prides itself on being 'anti-barbie' but surely we don't want to actually aim for create the look of desperation, surely that's not a good look on anyone.
11. Urban Decay Lube in a Tube
Yes it rhymes and it's catchy but this just sounds gross and tacky. I know Lancome has ownership over Juicy Tubes but surely Urban Decay could have come up (no pun intended) with something a little more sophisticated and more appealing?
12. Nars Deep Throat Blusher
Orgasm sounds sexy but deep throat sounds like it would be more attractive to men than women and to me suggests gagging. Surely you don't want to associate your product with gagging?
13. Smith and Cult Nail Polish-Porn-a-thon
There seems to be a tradition to use sexual innuendos to name nail polishes. Smith and Cult 's nail polishes retail at £19 and the name seems cheap and cheesy for a high end brand.
haha definitely agree with you, these names are awful! x
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